Ex-Mavericks Robert Reynolds on the Long Road Back

By Kyle Osborne

It’s a new year that we’ve stumbled into, dazed from all that has transpired in the previous twelve months. But here we are, looking for a fresh start, putting one foot ahead of the other and striving for something better. Maybe something like redemption.

Robert Reynolds knows what that feels like.  In 1989, Reynolds, along with friends Raul Malo and Paul Deakin, founded The Mavericks. The group sold millions of albums and won a Grammy, two CMA’s and two ACM awards. After a break during which Malo pursued a solo career, the group reunited and recorded a comeback album in 2013, In Time

A tour followed and longtime fans embraced the group’s triumphant return to the stage. But behind the scenes, Reynolds was battling an opiate addiction that band members said had affected his performance and personal relationships with his long time mates.  Rolling Stone magazine reported in a December, 2014 article that Reynolds had been fired from the band he’d founded 25 years prior. It was a heartbreaking conclusion for a man who had battled more than his share of hard times.

Now, three years later, Reynolds is walking back toward the light, if not to his former band. He crowd-sourced an EP of catchy, roots-flavored songs that reveal a man on the mend artistically. Living a quiet life in rural Indiana, Reynolds and his partner Michelle have used their devotion to each other as a healing method. In addition to the Good Night, Rock & Roll EP, the couple have produced handmade objects and paintings (Reynolds is a gifted painter) for sale to the public, via their Etsy page.

Speaking publicly for the first time since his separation from The Mavericks, Robert Reynolds is candid, contrite and, in spite of it all, determined to help others, while charting his own path back.

Q: Did you know all along that you had new songs in you? Did you write specifically with the idea of recording this EP in mind?

A: I’ve always got songs rumbling around in my head and it really comes down to the sense of purpose and the discipline to begin the writing process. I knew I would never overcome my personal hurdles if I didn’t reclaim my passion for music. This whole project is a record of the pain and the healing, and I expect there is more still to come.

What was it like being in a recording studio again? Is the process the same as the last time you recorded?

The process of recording is pretty much like the “riding a bike” analogy and with the exception of tech changes, which I leave to the professionals, my job remains unchanged through 3 decades now. I bring my songs, production ideas, and hire very capable friends to round it out. Remember it was only 2014 since last working in the studio with my old band mates, though that was not a happy time for me.

I take full responsibility for my failures and that’s why I began the recovery process. I should mention here now that this project was a complete and total return to the joy of the recording process, and it’s largely due to recovering my better spirit.

I know that you have a wide variety of influences, and that you love many different kinds of music (found out today you were a Smithereens fan, for instance), are these songs what you sound like? Could you just have easily made an EP that was more rock or more country? To me this sounds “rootsy”, but elements of different genres mixed together.

Another great question. My passions for music run far and wide and they seem to be expanding always. I would say this little song cycle blends some of the elements of the music that influences me. I’m bound only by my limitations and I try to make them work for me, not against me. Whether it’s song structure, melody, guitar tones, or production techniques,  various influences show up. I don’t have a very strong voice so I prefer my softer inclinations and using my fragile range for emotion.

Perhaps more than anything with this e.p. I wanted the songs to reflect my relationship to music and in some way run through the music of my childhood. It’s only now I’m realizing how alone I felt at this time too. Yes I had Michelle as my partner, I had Jim and Eric as my musical collaborators, and of course the PledgeMusic campaign accounts for a lot of people pulling for me, but I was without my band. There was no “Mavericks” to lean on, stand beside, or hide behind. It was just a very raw “me”. Kind of hurts to say that. I think this was bound to sound a bit fragile, like pieces of myself being patched back together. There will be a time for something more solid, mightier later when I’ve had more time to heal.

How would you describe your journey from a few years ago to this day? How low? How high? You have seemed outwardly positive, which seems like the hardest way to be when someone has had a setback in life.

Wow! The journey? Hmmmm…. let me say that I’m still on that journey, and let me say that nothing I’ve ever done has been harder, but nothing has ever been more rewarding either. In the strangest way, the journey doesn’t seem like it’s separate from my life before addiction, it feels like I’m on the same long road that is my life’s journey.

I feel built to survive, but at the same time this addiction challenged even that. My optimism comes from my faith, my belief that this has some greater meaning. If you knew what I survived in my childhood, years before the Mavericks, you’d know that in the long arc of my life I’ve developed this positivity–partly as a survival tool, but partly because I am living proof that the pendulum swings equally right to left and back again.

I wouldn’t change a thing for fear of changing everything. I want to encourage others to reclaim their lives, I want to inspire, and I’m here now to be a voice for healing. I have plans in those areas, and I’m excited by what is ahead. There’s that positivity again dammit! Ha!

How are you? How do you feel? What are your ambitions? Who has been helpful? To what extent have you felt abandoned by people?

How am I? Well compared to what, I guess, is the real question. I am great, I am healthier than I’ve been in years, possibly going back to the mid 90s,  I’m more fit and that’s mostly because I spend all of my free time on my health now. We walk or hike somewhere close to 5 miles daily if weather permits, and in recovery you learn to use that time to exercise your total self, mind, body, and soul.

There are aspects of addiction that help highlight the hurts in one’s life and therefore in good treatment you treat those hurts. I’d suffered the loss of virtually all the elders in my life ,and I think that set me adrift, the band hadn’t been the band I loved for some time in, my opinion, and I felt a longing for that too.

Between 2007 and 2014 I was progressively self-medicating all of my hurts. I had a longing to be that group of guys with a singular vision, as we were when we came together back in the early days. That’s not realistic, I know, but it’s my nature to hold on to the past. So between 2007 and my departure in 2014, so much had happened to the foundation of my life, and I began to self-medicate. It was gradual but it was no less destructive.

I don’t want to be afraid to share my faith with you and yet it’s very personal, of course. I’ve always felt a sense of something greater at work in my life, in the world all around us. At times I felt like I could see my life before it happened and all of this seems to be of greater meaning. So who do I have in my life? Who has been helpful to me? The list is long but let me mention Michelle, of course. She has stood beside me on the darkest nights, and I mean dark, dark nights. I have my faith–I, of course, mean God, and He has provided abundant support. Thousands of people around the world have played a role in encouraging me on to health. I have an incredible therapist, and a great medical team. I owe them so much.

The question of abandonment is tough. I’m not sure I would use that word, though I understand the meaning of your question. The relatively small number of people that don’t play an active role in my life are sadly some of the people I felt closest to, but I have theories about this.

The suggestion in their backs being toward me is that I was not worth the effort anymore or that I had no value, they’d grown tired of waiting for me. I think it’s more complicated. I’m guessing it’s clear that we are talking about my old band mates and I probably should be honest and say that it’s hard to explain.

I hope one day that’s answered and restored in some meaningful divine order. I certainly miss them in the deeper sense, I miss the brotherhood. One day it will be revealed to me…..everything is.

The news that broke about your separation from the Mavericks was not great, not flattering, and it seemed like you didn’t have a chance to speak on your own behalf–was that intentional on your part? What do you wish fans knew?

Well again, you are going deep…. Let me clear one thing up first. I did have a chance to tell my side of the story but chose not to engage that at all. To this day I’ve never tried to give “my side” of the “story.”

I would never counter that and still won’t for the simple fact I never read a word of it when it was published.

I was contacted by Rolling Stone and declined, and when the article came out several very loving people called and told me not to read it. Michelle DID read it and concurred that it would only hurt me. So I didn’t read it then and still haven’t. Most friends thought it likely was a runaway train kind of thing, that it was never intended to be so harsh. I believe it was “intended”, I believe it was done in anger towards me, but emotions had run amok.

I’ll share the one thing that may be hardest to share here now. The only time I really felt I couldn’t go on was when that article came out. It’s the only time I felt that killing myself could be an option or a solution, and I’m certain NOBODY wanted that. So in a small way, I am working with my therapist currently on a program designed to change perceptions, create better understanding, and hopefully give people suffering with addiction second and third chances to get it right, to get on the path to healing and recovery.

You ask about what I would want fans to know that may have been lost in translation? Above all else, that my suffering is not the sum total of my worth, that what made me who I am and my better attributes also made me vulnerable. It’s funny, my sister called and noted that what had been published missed entirely the essence of me, the brother and son I had always been who tried hard to make a better life for his family. I want the fans to differentiate between one’s flaws and one’s attributes. To this day I’ve held the fans in the highest regard, I’ve always played the bridge between the band and fans. Finally I always loved the music, sometimes I loved it more than was healthy for me.

The most obvious question: are the Mavs (Raul) supportive? Are you still friends? Will there ever be a reunion of you and them? Is that a priority for you, or are your sights set on things that go deeper than that?

This is hard for me–maybe the hardest thing to speak of. Do I have the support of the Mavs or Raul? That’s hard to answer. I’ll trust that in some deeper place in their hearts I do. I want to change our understanding of what this addiction looks like. I want people to be better equipped to understand and therefore better able to help and to cope.  I would love to imagine a time when nobody has to deal with the shaming that’s so common.

The problem with giving you an honest answer is that I can only guess. I’ve never spoken to the guys since receiving a letter in October of 2014. In an effort to be fair, I’ll also add that I don’t really have an active relationship with my siblings either, so maybe there’s a relationship. I can only assume that they are supportive but, perhaps, unwilling to take an active role in my life. I do believe these things can be changed through learning more about addiction, addicts, and relationships. Nobody is a lost cause, nobody should suffer more than they are already suffering for lack of understanding. Mostly we all walk through an “untreated” world, most people in life never treat their hurts and addictions, and I’ve come to really appreciate people in treatment for their effort to be better.

It has been cool to discover your art! How great must that feel to create in that medium and have your work embraced?

Well my “art”-my visual art- is a very humble prospect, but it’s very connected to my treatment and kind of like a personal therapy. I have no formal training but I do love all of the arts and I’ve always gravitated toward painting and illustration. And who doesn’t love the impressionists? So, somewhere in there are the influences that inform my paintings.

Being known for music most of my life, I wanted to continue telling my musical story, but for now I’m telling it through my portraits. I am so thankful to have had the interest of many longtime Mavericks / Robert Reynolds fans, and I’ve even begun to attract folks beyond that as well. I’ve sold almost 200 of my paintings in roughly 2 years. I’m shocked to even say that now. Wow!

Let me say this, ever since I was a little boy, I only wanted to make art and music, I wanted to make people happy, so this is a blessing to continue living my dreams. I’ve lost a lot in the past 4 years, it breaks my heart, but I am so grateful for what I do have. I have had the most amazing journey.

Whether it’s music or painting, can you still learn new things? Still get better? (I guess it’s not like football where your knees eventually give out and your best years are in your 20’s?)

The remarkable thing about the creative arts, music and painting, poetry, and any of these expressive mediums is that you can take them all the way through your life. You can grow, morph, create hybrid arts, and you can always get better. Unlike athletes that may lose something to age, the artist can always grow stronger. That’s why you’ll see some athletes take to art when they retire, I suppose. Art welcomes all comers.

How can we find and purchase your music, art, etc?

For now, this is very much a cottage industry, very humble by comparison to my days with the Mavs. Michelle and I spend almost every available hour creating. She is a natural, and I’m inspired by her fearlessness. Michelle tries new things in her creative process much easier than I do, but she thinks I’ve got the natural talent. Fooled her, I guess.

Anyway, we are developing an inventory of her hand bound journals, and “assemblage jewelry”, as well as both of our painted and framed works. I will always have new music and I want to point out that my EP “Good Night, Rock&Roll” is available. You can check out our etsy shop at: painterandpaperdoll.etsy.com or reach out at rergalleries@gmail.com (Note: Robert and Michelle will launch a website this year, as well)

Earlier I asked what your ambitions are–in some ways, I guess I am asking if there is a “plan,” for tomorrow or next year or 5 years from now? Either personal or professional.

My plans for the immediate future are to develop my art for the festival calendar we have planned next year, and to get my music to the people via some regional shows. A little longer range I’ve got a plan in the works to do some shows overseas, but that is in very early development.

First, of course, is my health and well-being, but some of this goes hand in hand. I’ve taken a seat on a board for one of our biggest “Roots” music festivals called “River Roots” and I’m looking forward to helping steer that into the future. Long range, I’m working on a book, and, in fact, I’ve had some interest already– so that is a bit more the “5 year” range.

Robert, I appreciate your candor. Thanks for letting me ask some uncomfortable questions.

I really need to use my voice to help others toward successful recovery and possibly change the national understanding of addiction while I’m at it. I am serious, I’ve always seen my life in little snapshots of the future, a kind of divine glimpse, for lack of a better phrase, and I believe I can do something meaningful in that light. We are all suffering addicts and non addicts alike.

You know I feel now it’s okay to buckle under the weight of it all, be it death of a loved one, illness, career, or life’s great pressures–there is no shame in buckling to the weight when you can’t carry it anymore. I’m not in the least bit ashamed of addiction, my addiction, as I’ve learned so much about myself through this.

I hurt for the pain I’ve caused others and in treatment you learn to solve these things, not carry them around. When you work on yourself in an intense manner, you begin to realize that there is a large part of the world you’ll encounter that is untreated, and I’ve got to be okay with the hurts I will still suffer. As this all relates to the Mavericks, I’m extremely proud of the legacy, and it covers 25 amazing years, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I believe the 25 years of music and the 30 plus years of friendship shouldn’t have offered countless other solutions to this same problem. I would like to believe we can change our view on addiction and how it’s understood.

I don’t want to see the person already suffering have to suffer anymore, and I don’t want the family and friends of the addicted to have to be in the dark about otherwise potentially understandable treatment options, as well as the underlying problems. Nobody should have to lose it all when they are in the position I found myself in.

On the bright side, my faith tells me that my entire journey is part of a series of divine appointments and I find love and joy wherever I am. I can find purpose in all I do. I’ll wrap by saying that my goals for the future include not only the things I mentioned earlier but also being open to the next divine appointment that I couldn’t plan for. I’m still very enthusiastic about the possibilities life has to offer, I’m excited by the unknown. The bottom line is that I’m healthy and have abundant love to give, and I’m gaining wisdom every day. I believe I can be of service, I have so much to offer.

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