Long famous for his breakfast
cereal fetish, Jerry Seinfeld directs and stars in this lukewarm origin story
(almost completely fictionalized) of the Kellogg’s Pop Tart. Same meal, no bowl
or spoon or…MILK!

Seinfeld stuffs his 97- minute feature with a herd of SNL currents and
alums, plus familiar stand-up faces like Jim Gaffigan as Mr. Kellogg and Amy
Schumer as fierce rival Marjorie Post. Which company in the early 1960s will
get to market first with their toaster pastry? It’s a race as urgent as NASA
and the Soviet’s space rivalry, and we’re shown that first hand.

The film is over-the-top, schticky, and, worst of all for a comedy, not
very funny. Seinfeld, who has gotten awfully smug and cranky in recent years,
is his own #1 fan when it comes to stand-up, but just ask Madonna, there’s
nothing like a feature film to humble someone who is otherwise great at their
preferred craft. Making movies ain’t for part-timers.

What’s good? Well, for an old person like me, someone who remembers when
Pop Tarts were still a novelty and not sold in pairs at 7-11, the call-backs to
a time when Tang
was new and Tony the Tiger made frequent appearances while we ate sugary cereal
and watched Johnny Quest,
those references are nostalgiac fun.

And pretty much everyone in the cast of familiar faces hits their marks
and says their lines with aplomb. But Jerry just walks through it as himself,
which worked wonderfully on TV, not really adding any laughs or surprises here.

I’m sure it was a wonderful time on the set and the beloved mentor to
many in the cast had the benefit of folks trying to give him their best, but in
the end, it just feels like we’re eavesdropping on one big inside joke.

I’m not mad at it, but I couldn’t sit through it again. I suspect it will
be a big hit on Netflix, which is where you can see it now. But appreciate its
amiable ramble and you’ll enjoy it more than most people.

Unfrosted| on Netflix Now| 97 minutes| Nothing Objectionable for
Sensitive/Young Viewers