Movie Review: “Bullet To The Head” Like An 80’s Action Flick On Steroids

“Bullet To The Head,” a movie with about as much nuance as its title would suggest, finds Sylvester Stallone with black spray-powder “hair,” a roided out looking physique and a limp-along gait that has become more pronounced. But unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, who sadly walked through his latest movie, “The Last Stand,” with the look of a defeated man doing one for the paycheck, Stallone struts, baby. You might think it strains credibility (if not groin muscles) for a 66 year old man to kick and shoot and punch his way through a Walter Hill directed action flick, but Sly doesn’t think so, and you have to give it up to him for his sheer chutzpah.

Stallone plays a goon with a long rap sheet and a set of mug shots that illicit laughs from the audience, as if they’re watching a friend’s slide show. So, he’s a bad guy, but he’s a good bad guy, who teams up with a by-the-book cop to track down the people who killed Stallone’s partner. Of course, none of this really matters, the short 90 minute flick is really just a template to hang some bad ass shoot outs and fist fights on. Even the warehouse where a damsel in distress must be rescued looks like a stock Google image of “a warehouse where a damsel in distress must be rescued.”

Walter Hill knows how to stage gun fights, and there are some blood popping shots to add to his resume here. And some graphic knife violence, too. Damn, these guys know how to stab people, I’ll tell you that.

Best of all is a showdown in the final act that pits Stallone against Jason Momoa (Khal Drogo on Game of Thrones) in a ridiculous kind of Axe duel. “What, are we,Vikings?” Stallone asks in one of many funny one-liners. And yet, when they start swinging and clanging and dodging, you can’t deny that it’s an engaging action sequence.

In the same way that Stallone plays a good bad guy, “Bullet To The Brain” is a good bad movie. It’s familiar and kind of silly, but the 80’s style action film violence and that “Yo, Adrian” delivery are, like a box of Milk Duds, familiar movie treats that stick around.