By Kyle Osborne
Flatulence, pedophilia, explosive diarrhea, male bodily fluids, urinating sheep and a shooting gallery that features “runaway slaves” as the painted metal targets—these are just a few of the “hilarious” subjects that Seth McFarlane mines for groans in “A Million Ways To Die In The West.”
McFarlane, best known as the wildly successful creator of the TV show “Family Guy”, as well as the guy whose brand of naughty humor bombed when he hosted the Oscars, wrote, directed and stars in a movie that really has only one joke (everything else being just a branch stemming from that hollow, rank trunk). The joke is, get ready: it’s a traditional Western, set in 1888, only the actors speak with modern day voices and lingo—get it? HaHaHa. So, they’re dressed in cowboy hats, but they speak with current expressions that didn’t exist way back then. Heeeeeee. Funny.
Oh, and they drop enough F-bombs to make Scarface look like Mr. Rogers. Really edgy.
In the interest of accuracy, there is one more running joke that gives the movie its title—you’ll see people die fiery, bloody deaths. One of which was even funny.
McFarlane’s schtick has grown tiresome—his TV show pushed boundaries, in terms of showing the same kind of poo-poo jokes you’ve heard forever, only having animated characters deliver them. His movie “Ted” used the same m.o. to get us chuckling at the potty mouth of a stuffed animal. It’s not that scatological humor, in and of itself, is unfunny—it’s just that McFarlane’s fascination with the above mentioned whiffs comes off as creepy. Being “naughty” just doesn’t mean much anymore. Unless it’s also funny.
His character, Albert, is an earnest, peace-loving outcast, in the sense that he actually knows how horrible life in The West is, and doesn’t want any part of it. Meantime, his hot girlfriend (Amanda Seyfried) has dumped him for the wealthier owner of the town moustache shop (Neal Patrick Harris ALMOST gets out of this with his dignity Almost). Single and sad, McFarlane becomes aimless and depressed. And to make matters worse, he’s a terrible shot with a pistol, in a town where everyone knows how to shoot.
Enter Charlize Theron, playing the wife of a notorious outlaw (Liam Neeson). She befriends Albert and teaches him how to shoot a bottle from fifty paces—it takes a looong time for Albert to get there—and an innocent relationship develops between the two during what you might call “The Karate Kid Wax On/Wax Off” phase of the film.
As I said recently while reviewing “Neighbors,” this kind of humor hasn’t been shocking since 1998’s “There’s Something About Mary,” and that film was actually funny—giving us characters to care about.
Some will say I am being politically correct. Whatever. Funny is funny, no matter how dirty, no matter how clean. This movie reminds me of the waning days of the old radio guy, The Greaseman. His big draw, making funny noises meant to stand in for masturbation or even sex (something many of his adolescent listeners knew nothing about) just became, well, sad.
You wanna see a funny Western that had contemporary touches and, yes, some famous flatulence? Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles” is still the standard bearer. McFarlane’s effort amounts to a million ways for jokes to die on the screen.
‘A Million Ways To Die In The West’ is rated “R” for everything mentioned above. It gets 1 out of 4 Stars. You can view the Red band Trailer below:
Thats our KO! Taking one for the team. Sounds like this shot will require a recovery period!