By Kyle Osborne
We all know that the Transformers films and their reviled director, Michael Bay, are critic-proof. So why am I even here? If you’re a fan, you’ve already made your plans and you won’t be disappointed. If you’re not a fan, is this fourth film in the franchise, “Transformers: Age of Extinction”, going to be the one that turns you? Well, maybe?
It’s relentlessly loud and has a punishing running time of about 2 hours and 40 minutes. It’s got a corny storyline in the first act and a confusing one in the second act. You still there?
It’s also got some of the best IMAX 3-D scenes you may have ever seen in a commercial theater. Bay has maximized the best features of the format and filmed some pulse-pounding chases, nail-biting sequences and edge-of-your-seat stunts. Yes, I intentionally used all of the clichés in the same sentence to make a point: Michael Bay is not looking to please snooty critics, his mission is wish fulfillment for popcorn film fans, and he pulls out all the stops to do so.
Audiences will break into applause at least three different times during the film which starts off in Texas, where widower Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg may not be convincing as a Texan or an inventor, but he generates a LOT of good will, and the movie will need it going into the third hour) lives with his teenage daughter. Wahlberg’s character buys an old dusty truck out of an abandoned movie theater and guess what that truck ends up being?
Yup—Optimus Prime may be past his prime, he’s been hiding out, as have all Autobots, after a little incident in Chicago which left a city devastated and took many lives, Optimus has never forgotten what he’s on this planet to do, which is, well, you know, Good Things and Things With Honor.
I’m not going to get too much into it because it’s needlessly convoluted, but Optimus and all Autobots are being hunted by, possibly, The Government, who may possibly be in cahoots with Zillionaire Stanley Tucci who may have tapped into a way to make his own Autobots. Yawn—who cares, they’re just bad guys who are after the good guys, and that’s all I have to say about that.
The locations are spectacular. From the golden sunsets of Texas, to the high-rise aerial stunts in Chicago, the film really is a feast for the senses. Too bad it takes so long for the movie to finally get to Hong Kong, because it is there that Bay really takes advantage of the location to stage some sublime scenes that really make the city part of the cast of characters.
Right about the two hour mark, “Transformers: Age of Extinction” reaches a point where you think, well, this has been fairly cool, but that’s about enough. But if the film ended there you wouldn’t get to see the Dinobots come out to play, nor get to watch dozens more objects go Crash, Bang, Boom!
For someone who seems to follow the Golden Rules of Showbiz so carefully, Michael Bay has ignored one of the most quoted: “Always Leave Them Wanting More.”
In this case, he’s given us all we can stand, whether we’re friend or foe—No mas! No mas!
“Transformers: Age of Extinction” gets 2 ½ out of 4 Stars. Although rated PG-13, it steps very close to, if not over, the line: extreme violence, some profanity and some very short shorts on a 17 year old who’s dating a 20 year old all may make one wonder if their child is “ready” for the film.