Sometimes you don’t know that you didn’t like a movie until it has ended, and that’s not the worst thing-not by a mile. No, it’s much worse to realize you don’t like a movie before it has ended. The biggest sin a film can commit is to be boring, and while director Onur Tukel has made a movie that is confounding, weird and enigmatic, at least it is never boring.
That Cold Dead Look in Your Eyes is initially quite intriguing, if for no other reason that the cast are mostly French speakers in New York City. Leonard (Franck Raharinosy) may just be the most pathetic character to ever be the protagonist of a movie. His girlfriend has broken up with him, though he continues to live in her apartment, sleeping on the couch. He’s a chef who absolutely cannot cook a palatable meal (his boss, played by a New Yawky Max Casella tells him his food “tastes like prostate cancer”) and, if that’s not enough, the ex-girlfriend leaves town on business, just as her father arrives to stay for a visit. It gets worse from there for poor Leonard.
The father (Alan Ceppos) was once a famous photographer, but now he’s falling out of favor, which doesn’t stop him ordering Leonard around and taking dumps so big that he clogs the toilet and refuses to fix it, ordering Leonard to do the work. Thankfully, the clogging takes place off-camera. Meanwhile he fills the house with naked, gay men, taking photos for an exhibit he hopes to present.
But, I’m not sure if any of that matters, because what I think the film is more concerned with is how Leonard is having disturbing, horrific illusions that may be caused by theta waves, which may be coming from new high-speed internet boxes that are attached to power poles and elsewhere throughout the city. Intermittently, Tukel shows us close ups of these boxes with an ominous blinking light. That’s how you know they mean something. I think.
If none of this sounds coherent, it’s not just crappy synopsizing by me, it’s also the story which, again, doesn’t bore us – mainly because we are trying to figure out what.the.f*ck.is.going.on.
It plays like a dreamy, druggy excursion – a trip without a destination. Is that bad news? Well, it’s not my thing, and Onur Tukel doesn’t give a shit about my thoughts. He has his following, but otherwise is perfectly happy to piss you off.
And I admire that. But I couldn’t sit through it again.
That Cold Dead Look In Your Eyes is currently Available on Digital Platforms – iTunes, Amazon, Vudu and more | 2 out of 4 stars | Reviewed by Kyle Osborne