You know you’ve got a timeless story in your hands when the original 1883 novel is still being adapted by filmmakers in 2022. The latest by famed director Robert Zemeckis doesn’t add anything positive to the story, and Disney’s original 1940 animated version remains safely at the top, its reign unbroken.
Zemeckis loves technology and has always used the latest visual effects to great acclaim, but sometimes he forgets that the whiz-bang images should be at the service of the characters’ stories.
Tom Hanks plays Geppetto, the woodcarver who makes a puppet which may serve as a stand in for his fondest dream: having a real boy for a son. Hanks, our most beloved actor (and a very nice man, whom I’ve met numerous times) has never, never been able to do accents well, but we forgive his broad swings because he’s the only thing in the film that generates warmth, in an otherwise charmless take.
The changes made to the story to presumably, “update” it are mostly sly references that will soar over the heads of intended viewers, but that’s okay. The addition of a new character Sofia, a friendly seagull (voiced by Lorraine Bracco) adds absolutely nothing.
In other ways, the movie seems to visit the stations of the narrative as if it’s checking off a list.
The visit to Pleasure Island, which scared the crap out of this viewer in childhood, comes off as a cool video game here. Growing donkey ears and a tail? Another dark as night aspect of the 1940 version seems like a digital gimmick- another computer trick pulled off.
Is it watchable? Yes, it is. The sturdy framework of the narrative is seemingly unbreakable after many failed attempts by directors to make it their own. Yes- you will follow it to the end (which is rushed after taking too long to get there), but will you be scared in the scary parts? Will you be moved to having a little dust in your eyes at the end? Will you feel like you’ve been watching, pun intended, real characters?
Nope. And, by the way, the actual Pinocchio character looks more creepy than cute with inexplicably soulless eyes. Some good visuals, but this part live action, part digital animation hybrid is a swing and a miss from a celebrated and sometimes great director.
1 out of 4 Stars | currently streaming on Disney+ | Photos: Walt Disney Studios
